1/5/23 Not Thematically Cohesive
Free write thought dumping about bob seger, birthdays, heart attacks and other things. featuring grammatical errors a plenty.
You know, I’ve been thinking a lot of things, and if i get my fingers moving maybe they'll come out in some kind of word salad jazz odyssey of random thoughts, and you may that know i like the three dots thing…
everything i write is eligible for later edits, and re-purposing , for me it’s about seizing the wave of energy before it crashes, fuck all technical proficiency.
I’ve been really depressed lately, and i was accidentally over medicated on 3 times the amount of Seroquel i was on before. a perfect storm of low energy darkness featuring the holidays, seasonal affect disorder and lack of money. it was like i had been shot by an elephant tranquilizer dart. i couldn't do anything i usually do like: writing, playing music and killing it at street fighter alpha 3. i drank so many coffees with absolutely none of the desired energy effect and all of the undesired pooping effect. i think i’m coming out of it, thus all the words i’m tapping out here on this blank browser window. I may have lists and lists of things that i’ve been meaning to write and stories i want to tell, but i really cant manage the focus right now. So it’s going to be a buch of random paragraphs and 3 dots to separate them.
The Holidays have an extra day for me. for most people its thanksgiving, Christmas (or whatever your preferred December holiday is), and new years. For me, i have to include my birthday, which is Janurary 7. I’m not a fan of observing any holidays, and i am fairly indifferent about my birthday. Growing up in Massachusetts with the winters being what they are, many planned birthday parties at Chuck E. Cheese had to be cancelled due to blizzards. I just wished i could have been born in august, then maybe i could be playing skee ball and watching animatronic mice sing songs over absolutely terrible pizza.
its kind of funny, being born on the 7th day of the year, when i think about how lucky i am to have survived all the things that should’ve killed me, if 7 is a lucky number and any of that means anything…who knows.
Today is the birthday of a dear friend from my formative adolescant years growing up in Plymouth MA: Mike Robilard, who I've mentioned a little on this blog in my story about getting drunk for the first time, and singing “Lightening Crashes” at the top of our lungs at 2 AM in our quaint little suburban beach community. i haven’t seen him in at least a decade, but when i mention a list of things i want to write about, he’s somewhere near the top. I remember when i was a freshmanm in high school he and i would plan to smoke a whole ounce of pot in one joint on the 6th, because it’s the day between our birthdays. We never did, but i remember the discussion. Back then, we smoked really shitty cheap weed that was probably 100$ an OZ, the whole concept of the “ounce bone” was like our dream occurrence, the 9th grade equivalent of a bottle of Don Perignon or some other ridiculous waste of money.
I have to mention my recent rediscovering of the Bob Seger catalog, especially “night moves”. Now, night moves are about making out in your awkward teenage years, and trying to figure out that whole spectrum of sexuality. I hope everyone has someone and sometimes that “night moves” reminds them of as I do. Now, I’m not going to name names, but I used to sneak out down the street to Fresh Pond in my hometown to meet up with a gorgeous young lady, in the “sweet, summertime, summertime”. The situation also reminds me of that “my so-called life” episode where Clair Danes’s character discovers making out with Jordan Catalano somewhere in their high school. anyway, Bob Seger is a national treasure of classic rock goodness, and it reminds me of Boston’s 100.7 WZLX classic rock radio station. For me, it was always WBCN modern rock radio, but everyone else’s parents kept it on ZLX, I’ve developed such a love for the dinosaur classic rock stuff that the punks rebelled against it. If you want to talk about American classic rock I don’t think you could do much better than Bob Seger… Maybe Steve Miller, but it’s really up for debate, Seger and Miller have a lot of hits. If I discover who had more, I’ll get back to you.
When you have a blog, you can put whatever you want on it. There arent any rules.
Today i learned that one of my favorite hometown kids had a fucking heart attack, man. Chris has had heart problems since birth and as far as i know, he had a pacemaker since childhood. I dont really want to get into all of the medical pieces of it, i just want to tell a little chris soucie stoy so here it is:
it must have been around the holidays of 2011 and I was deep inside one of my worst bouts of homeless inhalant addiction. Somehow I got my dearest childhood friend Dave to pick me up in Boston, and take me in for a few days. Dave was my closest homie since around 7th grade when we both got suspended for fighting each other in school. Since we were both on the middle school equivalent of paid time off, I went over to his house to play Magic The Gathering, and Sega Dreamcast. We were inseparable for the next decade or so. We went on to have profound coming-of-age psychedelic experiences on LSD at a younger age than any person should be experimenting with powerful psychedelic chemicals like that.
now, Chris Soucie (who had the heart attack) , was dave’s next door neighbor for his whole life. i think they had kind of grown apart during high school (2000–2004) but by 2011 they were thick as theives again.
Dave picked me up in Boston, and we picked Chris up to go to some chinese restraunt in some south shore town like Taunton, Middleboro, or Brockton (I really dont remember). Dave was driving one of those 2 door honda coups, maybe a civic or an accord (i dont know anything about cars), and it had a big hole where the stereo normally goes.
Being that Chris, Dave and I had grown up on the pivotal late 90’s emo album “through being cool” by the new jersey post punk/ emo band Saves the Day, we sung the whole album at the top of our lungs on the way to the Chinese restaurant. I still have that whole record memorized and could probably preform the whole thing accapella. I imagine that dave and chris could too.
There wasnt a stereo, but we needed music for our drive down route 44, so we sang an entire album.
“And i said just go, please Dave just drive, get us as far as far can be, get us away from tonight…” -Shoulder To the Wheel, Saves The day
We got shitfaced on something terrible like mai-tais and volcano bowls at the Chinese restaurant and i delivered a horrible karaoke rendition of Bob Dylan’s “Positively 4th Street”. it was the perfect song for how salty and heartbroken i was at the time.
That’s one of the Chris Soucie stories… it’s a good one.
Ok, I’ve run out of steam, so we’ve reached the part of the blog post where I try to scare up some bread to keep me in Newport, 3 musketeers bars, coca-cola, and instant coffee. I’m also going to include a link to Chris’ heart attack GoFundMe page. Some of us have heart attacks, some of us have birthdays (that they share with Nicolas Cage of all people), and all of us need money.
Here’s the Chris link:
Here’s the link of my links featuring paypal for monetary birthday gains:
here’s my email address for any well wishes, complaints or corrections
Ev.Penk7@gmail.com
