So, i cant sleep. i had a very eventful day and i cant seem to wind down from it, so i figured i’d hit a keyboard and get on about things lately, in case anyone actually reads these things. I know Ms. Tina does, she emails me about it, so there’s one for sure. listen, i’m sorry I've had very poor grammar lately, but i can’t really be bothered with that, Tina knows what i’m saying whether the i’s are capitalized or not, or if there;s a missing apostrophe in any given don’t or aren’t. i do type things on a computer and run them through grammarly on my phone before posing…sometimes.
i’m listening to my Spotify chillout playlist on shuffle, and its really good so i’ll link that
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6DnpUAhHf9ZstXVehlFfLK?si=_N28cvAkQ5CxXv9sM2qoPg
I
Yesterday (now that it’s past midnight, it counts as yesterday) i did something i’ve been trying to do and struggling with since 2020: i got a real New York State ID! I could never get the required documents together, and i had really given up a few times, figuring i’d never be able to be someone again…well, i’m someone now, motherfucker! i actually was short one of the “points of ID” but the nice DMV lady asked her supervisor to let it fly, given my situation, and he actually did. So, i guess i’m a ew Yorker now, fuck, I've been here for 3 years.
the other thing that I got, for the first time since about last year, was getting some cool eyeglasses. every time I get high I lose everything, and the glasses are usually the first to go, now, not only can I see but I look a lot better with glasses. it’s funny, you might remember a few posts ago that I was ashamed of my appearance, and now look at that…all turned around and shit. I couldnt stop myself from posting a bunch of pictures of myself, I don’t like to do that too many times in a row, it’s one of my weird social media policies, that maybe i’ll write about sometime, not now.
II
another thing came to mind, and you’ll have to read the last post for a little context. if the roomate that stabbed me last january is being charged with attempted murder, that means somebody attempted to murder me, doesnt it? fuck, has anyone attempted to murder you? that’s some heavy shit when i think about (i avoid thinking about it as much as i can). i believe i am at least slightly traumatized, and my freind sent me this book about trauma, but i cant even read it, that’s how little i want to think about the event. i try not to be dramatic, but it was a 425 Lb psychotic kid with a steak knife, man.
III
I fucking love making music, man. seriously the more I do it the better it gets, and the feeling when I’m doing it are so overwhelmingly good. I have to stop crying tears of joy so I can sing. the hard part is getting the vocals where I want them in the mix, but I’m teaching myself through trial and error.
i’m either so creative that i cant stop myself, or completely unable to do anything, and lately i’m in one of those whirlwinds of making stuff all the time.
I already posted the songs, but I wanted to link a video of this Columbian kid Leandro and I covering Bob Dylan. This is our first run at the song, and my first time playing Cajon while singing. I really love how the snare sound comes in at the first chorus, and I actually say hi to this guy Phil and keep going without missing a beat, which I think is nifty.
I’m so fortunate to be in a place where I can make music all the time, and some of it is good, albeit a bit clunky.
oh yeah, i nearly forgot: i’m poor as all heavenly fuck, but i am going to be able to work, so if you click this link you can help me comfortably make more shit, woo hoo, please, thank you
