Yeah, man. Bipolar depression is a real bitch. I didn’t get out of bed at all yesterday, and I haven’t checked social media or done anything I normally do. I did see that Trump got shot, which probably won him the election. Great. It’s not a time where it's the thought that counts, they should have killed that motherfucker.
My food stamps did come in today at least and I did a little grocery shopping before deciding i’d just order my groceries online again because they actually have the things I want. So, by 7 o clock I should have a full freezer. It's nice that there's no one to be here stealing any of it, too. I have ample soda, hot dogs and ice cream.
I just don’t feel good at all, in fact: I feel very bad and hopeless about life, and I really don’t like it. My dear friend is getting married this weekend and I can’t go for a number of reasons (mostly financial), maybe that’s wearing on me, because all of my friends will be there and i’ll be here in NYC all alone, missing them like I miss everyone when I get all depressed like this, and feel very alone.
I don’t even know why I’m writing, honestly… it’s one of those times why i’m not sure why ever did it in the first place. I should hopefully roll out of this soon, because it’s pretty unbearable.
I suppose for every couple of weeks of inspired, self assured creativity there’s gotta be the other side of it. That’s the entire meaning of Bipolar, 2 opposites, fucking cunt of a mood disorder that it is.
thanks for coming out, folks. I guess, I don’t know.
If you feel so inclined to contribute to my ability to do laundry and keep my internet on at home, please do: https://ko-fi.com/evr0ck17
