It’s 9:52p, on what I suspect is a Tuesday. I’ve just come home from a 12 step meeting, where I had some awful coffee at around 7. I spent a fair number of nights drinking coffee like this at different periods in my life, and I totally forgot how much caffeine is in there. Plus, I was doing speed at a lot of other junctures, too, which will really knock caffeine down a few pegs on the stimulant scale. This coffee is doing the trick sufficiently.
Anyway, I was about to sit down and play Grand Theft Auto, which is really fun but not as much fun as this. Plus, i’m on this mission where you’ve gotta shoot and drive at the same time, it makes me quit so I skipped a step.
Somehow, this is my second consecutive day of totally feeling it (life, music, cherry cola, Queens, gratitude, the weather…). You might not be able to put that many things in parenthesis, I've not consulted the rules on that.
I would like to prolong this whole “feeling it” thing, without burning holes in my brain or anything else, I have some plans that I hope will help. Banging away on this keyboard while listening to a playlist I made for my friend Cliff is the first step, and so here we are.
Where are we? oh, shit, I didn’t consider that part.
I was somewhere in Queens earlier that I had never been, waiting for the Q8 bus back to my neighborhood when I had this thought that i’m on an adventure, trying to find these meeting that aren’t always where the internet says they are, having a look at Queens. The bus was uncomfortably full, so I got off at the next stop and walked the 35 minutes or so back, because it’s August 21st, about 70 degrees out , and I had enough battery in my phone for my headphones to make sound all of the way. Shit, I even sang along with Mick Jagger quite loudly between cigarettes. One of the nicer walks in recent memory.
God forgive me, I had another thought while en route: it never wasn't an adventure, even when it felt like something else (and it sure did at times). Yet another perspective i’d like to sustain, if I can.
I’ve got bi-polar disorder, so these smiling, lovey, nice feelings are bound for the chopping block at some point. I guess i’ll navigate that when I get there.
It’ll be an adventure, I suppose.
go ahead, make my day:
