Anti-Social
Last week, I broke my little (only a week long) social media edge and I was on Instagram quite a lot and I was even on Facebook…
At first, it was really nice. I have been getting the most wonderful music handed to me through smart shuffle, and I just love sharing the music I’m excited about. Plus, I don’t mind admitting that I get lonely sometimes, I am out here without many of my dearest folks…I always thought that the whole social media was more social and less media. It isn’t real though. it isn’t connection, most of the time (not that it can’t be and never has).
It got dark though. I ended up way past my bedtime locked into the algorithmic reel feedback loop, and I really wanted to stop, but i kept going. Listen, I've been in a lot of feedback loops doing things that I totally did not want to do (drugs, alcohol, tinder) and I was familiar with the territory.
The country is so fucked, and I’m actually burned out on the amount of information pointing to how fucked we are, and how many ways we are fucked. I’m not being an alarmist, we are in the midst of a techno-fascist coup. When I was up, til one in the morning, I couldn't take my eyes off of it.
I deleted every meta account. I have not backpedaled.
Days later I fucking joined tik-tok, though, so it’s probably going to be like when I decided I could drink, as long as I stayed away from the hard stuff, or “hey, I'll just smoke pot”. Right? I was always fucked. Maybe tik tok is the Suboxone to the meta dope. If the government wanted to ban it, obviously it gets a little credibility from me. The ban, by the way had nothing to do with CCCP…it’s all about how it sidestepped the US narrative of what’s happening in Gaza.
well, it’s too fucking late.
The reason I joined tik tok, though: i’ve made a bunch of music that sounds pretty good to me, and it seemed like a good way to get it out there.
I feel pretty rubbish at present, a little too rubbish to really write too much. so I think i’m going to get coffeed up and go to a meeting. tomorrow i’m protesting after temple, because: we are fucked. I’d like to do more than protest, but we’ll see how things shape up.
I want to write more, I just can’t really get there lately.
i’ll link some of the places where I am still trying to be myself without slipping into a deep dark pit of despair.
https://www.tiktok.com/@evr0ck?_t=ZT-8u8anFBrb94&_r=1
https://mastodon.social/@evb0t
https://www.reddit.com/r/evr0ck/s/YfvSIkwDD8
