Back In “The World”

I got back to the city and my phone came in the mail. I went on Facebook and Instagram. Everybody looks good, living life and shit.

I mean, it sucks to be a chronic relapser because you don't get to live life, and you disappear from the world over and over. It's embarrassing when you come back, but I can't really change all of that which already happened. Fuck, since I'm still alive all I can do is try my best not to let it happen again.

Is it fucked up that I think that social media is "the world"? It isn't real, it's all pageantry. I think I just need it to keep I'm contact with folks and promote my blog. If I can keep it simple hopefully I won't feel like a loser compared to everyone's internet selves. I do that to myself all of the time

I'm in a long term program in NYC, I got here yesterday and I'm in quarantine. It doesn't bother me, I can play stardew valley and try to write things. I like being alone, so a bit of quarantine with a gadget is perfectly fine. I'm here to try again, which Is all I can do.