I think I hate asking for help more than anyone really minds me asking, or minds helping me, but that’s just a pride thing. Today I made a fundraising post to get a haircut and beard trim while I was out getting new glasses, and I’m happy to say that it worked out, and the money was raised rather quickly.
One of the people who helped was none other than the first serious girlfriend i’ve ever had. I say serious, although in 7th grade I don’t really know how serious a romantic relationship can be. I can tell you that I remember her dumping me once for this kid in my grade, and I took that pretty fucking seriously. Life is very serious when you’re 13, and now I laugh about it… I should realize that’s true about life still, The things i’m worried about will someday seem comically unimportant. I’d certainly stress out a lot less.
It just goes to show you that when you broadcast your thoughts and experiences across the internet, and advertise the content on every social media platform there is, that you never know who’s eyes could be on it. It could be your 7th grade love interest, who’s now married with children back in the town you grew up in. Good chick, smart girl…if my memory serves me correctly we met in 6th grade Gifted and Talented class.
The other person who I can thank for my improved look, and my boosted confidence is someone I only know on instagram, have never met in real life, and neither of us know how we got connected in the first place. We bonded over discussions of classic rock (especially The Grateful Dead) in the early days of the pandemic (before I ended up on the streets). Shes become one of the most ardent supporters of all of my creative projects, and graciously funded my needs (from sandwiches to smokes) when the financial scoreboard reads zero (too fucking often).
While i’m being grateful for the women that keep the Evr0ck Initiative running, I can’t leave out my more recently acquired friend up here in Queens (shes in Astoria, to be precise). We've bonded over our shared obsession with AI and the ADHD we both have that fuels the obsessed hyperfocus on machine learning and possibilities. When she told me I could help her with her business plans (which i wont be specific about), I figured it was another person that thought I know a lot about computers and wanted me to help in that sector of things. I can’t tell you how many people (especially the ones that are older than I am) are convinced i’m some kind of computer prodigy, when In reality I've just been messing with them for 30 years. Well, that wasn’t the case, because she knows 100% more about computers and the mechanics of the internet than I do. In fact, she taught me how it works for there to be an evr0ck.com, and gifted me the domain and hosting to me in addition to my chat GPT plus subscription.
You read that right, I own evr0ck.com, I just have to teach myself web design like I taught myself all of the other things. There’s nothing there yet, but there will be.
So, let me stop and take note: here are 3 separate people, in 3 separate places who have never spoken a word to one another. They all believe in me, and it warms my frigid, cynical little heart to no end. I’m doing this thing now where I believe what people who believe in me say (most of the time). I’ve got to stop now, because I don’t feel like breaking into tears of gratitude, although maybe I should allow myself that, sometimes.
Speaking of leveling my pride and asking for help: I’m struggling to cover some essential expenses like my internet, cell phone, and Canva Pro subscription. Right now, I could really use a loaf of bread to go with my jar of peanut butter until my benefits check, which has been mysteriously delayed, comes through.
Any support would mean the world to me. If you’re able to help, you can contribute through my Ko-fi page: https://ko-fi.com/evr0ck17.
I could have AI do all of this writing, and it would be easier, but I don't. I don’t, because I love the process.
