Wow, according to the data, I have not typed anything here since the 15th. that is uncharacteristic of my usual daily unloading of nothing in particular. I’ve been distracted by a return to making music, or at least having the balls to think that I can pull it off. In fact, in the morning I feel like a musical genius with big, big ideas, and I kind of identify with how Kanye West feels about Kanye West, until about noon, when they all get forgotten without being executed.
Speaking about music, I heard from my music therapist and mentor in the creative arts, Mariano, yesterday. I have not seen him since leaving the residential treatment program where our work resulted in the creation of a short film about music’s power in recovering from pretty much anything.
I had forgotten about the short documentary since the first initial screenings in Manhattan in the winter. Well, can you believe that Mariano wanted to know if I would come to a screening next month at Hunter College (where he teaches). Of course I would, it’s been far too long since i’ve been the center of attention, of course I want to return to that place as soon as possible. I won’t waste anyone's time, or insult their intelligence by claiming I’m too cool to want to be in the limelight. I never understood Kurt Cobain’s uncomfortable disdain for celebrity, if I could be a huge rock star I’d do it in a heartbeat. I was so happy to hear about this screening, plus the 18–24 college demographic is the hot spot for any kind of media audience. Imagine if these college students liked the film, and were inclined to check out my writing, I am going to bring my little fliers to this screening, of course.
Just when I feel kind of like nothing is moving in any direction, I get messages like that from someone I worked with closely for over a year.
There are a lot of reasons to be optimistic. So why then do I have all of these morose, negative thought patterns? Maybe the trick is that they don’t go away, you just stop accepting them as fact.
hmmm….
I have to go back to pretending I can make music since my mind is firing again, after a pretty long nap. I’m becoming more of a night person. i’ll try to keep writing more often, I know some people read this and I am ever so grateful.
hey now: EvR0ck inc. is in the red as far as revenue, but don’t worry… you can help with that, and I would much appreciate it!
https://ko-fi.com/evr0ck17
also, if you want to see the short film I was mentioning: https://tr.ee/W7kgwz27HJ (the password is sober in lowercase letters)
