I can’t sleep and I feel like typing, so let me just go for it:
I already wrote about this yesterday, but I’m sorry I have to do it again. It’s not that often that I hit the “repeat one” button on my Spotify and just listen to a song on loop, but it gets better every time I hear it.
“Shelter from the Storm,” Live at Budokan by Bob Dylan, is arranged so differently from the original “Blood on The Tracks,” with this reggae sway. It’s got great Hammond B3 organ action and backup singers.
Plus, I really “came in from the wilderness, a creature void of form,” when I arrived in treatment last summer. The wilderness just happened to be New York City, but I was definitely a creature void of form. Now I think I’ve taken a new form. I certainly got shelter from my storm here.
I used to have another favorite song in the world, but I realized that this version of this song is the best music I’ve ever heard in my life. This is absolutely the new Ev life anthem.
Anyway…
I brought my computer out to the sixth-floor lounge in this program I’m in tonight. Sometimes I do that to see if anyone else wants to play Street Fighter or another one of the roughly 25 thousand classic games I have emulated on it, with my two new controllers. They never usually go for it, but I still try.
Tonight there was a new guy who I found out had come here from Rikers Island yesterday, who had nothing like I did when I was a creature void of form arriving here. He may have a thick Puerto Rican accent and not be super fluent in English, but this kid was all about Street Fighter and Mario, and blown away by my collection of games from our childhood.
I made sure this kid had a strong cup of Cafe Bustello and a Newport. We played video games for three hours. He absolutely wrecked me in Killer Instinct, but I had him beat when it came to Street Fighter. If you read this blog, you’ll know how much I practice that.
I remembered the cheap Android phone someone had given me when I was in a similar position a year ago. Sure, it doesn’t have cell service, but we have Wi-Fi here and he can do stuff like watch streaming video and chat on WhatsApp. I went and grabbed the phone from my sock drawer and gave it to him. I told him that the next time someone new comes in, he has to give it to them because he can probably get a welfare phone out on Avenue D from the table that Assurance Wireless sets up to give out phones to people with EBT cards by next week.
I know what it’s like to have no digital connection to the world; it’s horrible. So now he has one. I don’t even think I caught the kid’s name. But who cares?
My wise, sober, and spiritual friend Mike always tells me to help someone, and my friend Ryan always tells me to pay it forward when he sends me a few bucks to get by, and I thought of what they said.
I’m cool with everyone in this building, and it’s so funny because some of them are the type that just got out of jail and would scare the hell out of a lot of civilians, not in the kind of company I keep and call my community.
But they’re just creatures void of form.
Hey it’s thanksgiving, i’d be thankful and pay it forward if you bought me a coffee: https://ko-fi.com/evr0ck17
And for god sakes, listen to this:
Lyrics
’Twas in another lifetime, one of toil and blood
When blackness was a virtue the road was full of mud
I came in from the wilderness, a creature void of form
Come in, she said
I’ll give ya shelter from the storm
And if I pass this way again, you can rest assured
I’ll always do my best for her, on that I give my word
In a world of steel-eyed death, and men who are fighting to be warm
Come in, she said
I’ll give ya shelter from the storm
Not a word was spoke between us, there was little risk involved
Everything up to that point had been left unresolved
Try imagining a place where it’s always safe and warm
Come in, she said
I’ll give ya shelter from the storm
I was burned out from exhaustion, buried in the hail
Poisoned in the bushes an’ blown out on the trail
Hunted like a crocodile, ravaged in the corn
Come in, she said
I’ll give ya shelter from the storm
Suddenly I turned around and she was standin’ there
With silver bracelets on her wrists and flowers in her hair
She walked up to me so gracefully and took my crown of thorns
Come in, she said
I’ll give ya shelter from the storm
Now there’s a wall between us, somethin’ there’s been lost
I took too much for granted, I got my signals crossed
Just to think that it all began on an uneventful morn
Come in, she said
I’ll give ya shelter from the storm
Well, the deputy walks on hard nails and the preacher rides a mount
But nothing really matters much, it’s doom alone that counts
And the one-eyed undertaker, he blows a futile horn
Come in, she said
I’ll give ya shelter from the storm
I’ve heard newborn babies wailin’ like a mournin’ dove
And old men with broken teeth stranded without love
Do I understand your question, man, is it hopeless and forlorn
Come in, she said
I’ll give ya shelter from the storm
In a little hilltop village, they gambled for my clothes
I bargained for salvation and she gave me a lethal dose
I offered up my innocence I got repaid with scorn
Come in, she said
I’ll give ya shelter from the storm
Well, I’m livin’ in a foreign country but I’m bound to cross the line
Beauty walks a razor’s edge, someday I’ll make it mine
If I could only turn back the clock to when God and her were born
Come in, she said
I’ll give ya shelter from the storm
