Cruelest almost always to ourselves- Bjork

As we entered and lived in an era of thing like “alternative facts’ and “fake news” i developed this affinity for the truth in a stronger way than i ever had. A mentor of mine told me once that i had a very finely tuned bullshit detector, he was right, he knew me well enough to make a factually sound statement like that. I can quickly sense it and i have zero tolerance for any of it. If i could’ve abided the pageantry of life in this world (corporate, and social interactions for example) i know that i’d be better off than i am right now. I react so adversely to the feeling that my intelligence is being insulted by any kind of farce…i just quickly walk away.

If I hold the facts and the truth so highly in my view of it all, i must wonder why I’ve drawn lines for myself based on the things that i believe that are demonstrably false.

people have told me that i can write with some proficiency, but i can't really hear them over the voice that tells me i cannot. It tells me not to even write the first sentence. “you'll come off as an asshole, contrived and self serving”. I have bad reviews of imaginary passages in my head that are longer and more detailed than anything i’ve ever put to paper.

isn't that funny? an obsession with finding information from verifiable and proven sources, when i've got the self talk version of tucker carlson in my head.

i don't know what to do about it, i’d love to cancel his show up there.