Let’s see if there’s anything I can snag at while I’m having trouble sleeping. Of course, I just had to nonchalantly drop my history of really messed up things on a new friend today. You might be a long-time reader who already knows the whole deal — homeless, third-degree burns, stabbing, getting hit by a car — the whole crazy shebang. If you haven’t gotten around to those posts yet, this blog’s archives are always open for exploration.
Yeah, more than a few people have hit me with that “you’ve been through a lot” thing. No kidding, right? And traumatized? For sure, absolutely. So now I’m stuck staring at this pile of baggage, with no way to rewind, and I gotta wonder — what do I do?
I always try to see the good in things. All that suffering, I think it at least expanded my capacity to empathize with others.
Some people can’t even offer a nod to the homeless, like they’re invisible. But I’ve been there, on those cold streets myself. Even if I can’t exactly pull out a wad of cash to help everyone, the least I can do is recognize their humanity. Besides, in this fucked up economy, most of us are just one bad hand away from being in that same position anyway. My mom used to say, “There but for the grace of God go I,” whenever we’d see a homeless person back in Boston.
I wouldn’t want to turn into a cold stranger, oblivious to other people’s struggles. I’d rather be able to understand them and how they feel, even if it hurts. That’s one of the reasons I believe I’m a decent person deep down. Sure, I beat myself up sometimes, feeling like a worthless piece of trash. But this is me reeling it in and looking at things more factually. I may fall short all the time, but there’s inherent value to me as a person, enough that it’s worth fighting for.
Just needed to get this down on “paper” since I’m feeling down.
I really need your help, times are tough: https://ko-fi.com/evr0ck17
