“Gotta have a little faith” — Derek and The Dominoes “Got to get better in a little while”
Fuck, man. You know? I wake up to More infinitely troubling news from our universities plus No oatmeal for breakfast, ice cream or cherry Pepsi (for the remainder of the day). This is the monthly rough patch, things have got to look up in a few days, I’m living the zero budget ramen for every meal life at present, not my favorite lifestyle.
I think, even though I’ll still be poor as fuck, that tomorrow will be of some assistance in the mood department, though…mood controlling perception, and perception controlling everything else. I will finally get in a psychiatrist’s office, and get my medications back. I know it’s not quite optimal, but I've had a lapse in being properly medicated, since it’s so difficult to get a psych appointment, promptly. I mean, I guess I could have gone to the psychiatric emergency room, if I didn’t mind the post traumatic stress and dread from those places (I do mind it). So, that will be beneficial.
I don’t really mind super low budget life, i’m simple, I like simple things. It’s just when I don’t have the means to get even the simple things that I get a little fucked up about the whole picture, because that’s how I am. I am trying not to be that way. Why do you think I have hand written gratitude lists in my journals at the end, and the first few days of every month? These are the times when I need them, and it’s a good idea to be aware of how fucking blessed I am to be alive, and doing all of these very fulfilling personal projects (that I may or may not ever finish).
So, I’ll get chemically set straight, will move into a new apartment (the date yet still a mystery) and at some point this month I will be at another screening of the film i’m in which should set my ego up (which is always welcome). It’ll be summer. That’s it, man… prime times. This moment right now, that i’m finding quite uncomfortable is that “darkest before dawn” type moment. For me, anyway, the situation with the protests is likely to get much darker quickly, I might have to pay less attention for my own mental health (I wont, but the idea is pleasant). Paying less attention to global human rights crises is not my style, even if it makes me sick in the head.
So, yeah… I don’t really know what to do with myself today, probably take a nap and try not to spend the 6$ I set aside to get to my appointment tomorrow. Just sit in my piss and vinegar and feel it, I suppose. It will help me appreciate the times of more abundance.
Wait, can I just be manifesting it, this whole time? Obviously I’m kidding, come on, man.
If you can’t teach me how to manifest infinite abundance and all of that, you may feel inclined to support my ice cream habit (at least a pint a day):
ko-fi.com/evr0ck17
