you know what?i just noticed a few minutes ago existence isn’t painful, anymore. like, there isn’t this foreboding sense of everything being “bad”. i call it the big sad. the big sad was strong 3 weeks ago when i had to go into the hospital for depression. therefore, i am no longer depressed.
i should have known when i started being able to hear music again, a few days ago.
isn’t that amazing? i think it’s amazing and if you were me, you would too. i just feel lighter. i feel some bit of general ok-ness.
it’s probably the medication, but i don’t care, i’ll fuckin take it. it can’t hurt things to be avoiding crack cocaine, also.
i’m not saying there’s all of this boundless joy all of the time, now. i’m just saying it’s not un-ok, which is really really good, when you consider how i felt 3 weeks ago. very good, indeed
