In Tune/ Out of Tune
i really can’t be bothered with thinking right now, so: lets go.
its the afternoon, i don’t really look at the clocks too much anymore, certainly less than i did before. I’m at the library, I’ve got to come up with 150$ to get my laptop out of the shop.
I’m working on it. I like it here, anyway.
the process of going somewhere to do something i used to do at home is recurring. it’s a different experience, more adventurous.
the other day i realized i had no idea why i couldn’t bring my music keyboard controller outside and just play through my phone out loud. I’m slowly but surely walking to more random spots to just jam. once i come up on a dependable speaker I’ll add more spots with traffic (traffic is loud).
it’s a nice little thing to do, go find a park and play music.
i can play now.
there was this time, maybe a week ago..i was going through a lot, i had covid…everything was a bummer. I sort of shut down to everything but playing music, which i did for about 12 hours a day…for something like a week. i filmed some of it.
now looking back, i get this idea that i went into the cave with all my “stuff”… emotional stuff….just stuff, all the stuff. i had to decide what not to bring back out as i get to moving on, and leave it there.
i feel like my being is either one of two ways: in tune or out of tune. in tune isn’t just hitting the right notes all the time, it’s much more than that. It’s like walking down the street and babies smile at you, timid feral cats rub up on you, for me: people hand me money. i don’t know how many people have folks hand them money, but, anyway.
i made a video of on the internet things that said “i’m either in a musical trance, or trying to get back into a musical trance”.
that’s it, life operates musically (to me anyway).
when i hear music, i can almost see it…like some kind of structural grid…i don’t yet know how to verbally quantify this thing. when i’m in tune, and i’m playing i’m just blown away by every note with such elation. it reminds me of that Dana Carvey bit.
it’s pretty amazing. i wonder how to even explain it to people, but this is what blogs are for, right?
i remember writing that when i wrote i didn’t have to think, and i liked that. well, i don’t have to think when i play music, either. to me this is a beautiful thing.
if you can help with the computer, please…i would much appreciate it
