I know it’s been a while since i posted, but i’m feeling that “if you don’t have anything nice to say…”. i don’t know what the fuck i’m doing out here in Jamaica, Queens, honestly. it doesn’t feel good, i feel lost. All i wanted when i was in treatment was to get an apartment and move there, and now i wish i was back in treatment in alphabet city. ain’t the mind a bitch?
i don’t think it helps that it’s been well below freezing for at least a week, so, going anywhere is pretty much out of the question. i have failed at returning to AA. i hate winter, it’s all dark and cold and there’s nasty dirt/ice/snow/salt everywhere.
there are a lot of things that don’t help, but, i didn’t want to just come on here and bitch about my life. if you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you know that i usually end or at least land on something positive, despite being such a cynic. the problem is, that now, i cant really find anything. i suppose it’s unusual to have a free place to live, especially when i know cold nights like we’ve been having with no place to stay, so i have a place to stay now, that’s good. the bodega takes food stamps for loose newports, i guess that’s positive.
i don’t know man. i still have this blog, i haven’t quit that, but i just think i should get a grip, and not come on here to bitch, hence the 4 days without a post.
