Monday Sickness Removal

Morning…but actually 12:43P (i just woke up)

it is not natural for all of this to have access to my field of view, and therefore by my very nature: my span of attention.

i am not available to everyone who wants to tell me things, or every robot that wants to advertise the paid use of other robot services that used to be free.

i couldn’t and can’t afford a cellular service bill, this used to stress me out to the point of dispondance.. now i will revel in it’s absence. I have covid 19, while i feel as though I’m improving a bit, some of that sickness of the last few days, combined with the everpresent stress of poverty and the constant flow of bad information… i have never felt sicker in my life ( I mean that).

I will never ever allow myself to be in this state ever again. If I am keep living this life (which i suspect i may) , it’s not going to hurt the way it has been for the last few weeks.

there has been no drugs or booze either, since for some reason, folks need to qualify their suffering for other people to take it seriously.

I cannot afford the psychiatric medication that society so wants me to take: I became bipolar and had symptoms, plus the covid…plus the people i may have shared some times with up to 20 years ago who have opinions that disgust me (which through facebook i am privy to) . i am not supposed to know them anymore, we are not the same.

this is natural, i am fine. i am going to be fine, and i don’t care who knows.

if it doesn’t push me forward, i have no business having any involvement. when i go forward i can bring others with me.

• Ev (loves you, by the way)