I really wish morning Ev would hang out a little longer than just 2 o clock in the afternoon. That guy is great, so confident, creative, inquisitive and focused. The PM shift guy is rubbish.
Whatever I think of doing in the morning, I fully commit to it, and I think it’s fucking brilliant. whether it’s writing, or researching stuff, or anything intellectually engaging. For example today, I was having this AI thing generate little music clips as a starting point to make my own creations with this multi track recording software that I literally haven’t touched since the winter. Suno (the music generation thing) will only generate 1:58 of music, but it can make a continuation. I was meticulously zoomed all the way in on the waveforms to make them fade together without any noticeable gap. It wasn’t working, I was trying all of these different ways to do it, like fading between left and right audio channels, just all kinds of methods that we’rent panning out (see: that's a pun, I did that on purpose). Finally I got them to click, and I literally cheered woohoo, my neighbors must wonder about me, random cheers of excitement at 11 am, when everyone should be at work. Is it that i’m really happy for one of the guys on the Maury show? Maybe i’m really in to the price is right.
anyway, it was great, I was so into it. I took my little midi keyboard controller out of it’s hibernation and started playing little synth lines. good thing it’s saved, maybe i’ll get back to it. the point is, now I struggle to do anything, even writing this is a total slog.
morning Ev makes all these plans for the PM shift, that just cant be fulfilled. I don’t know how to cook, I never cook… I live on microwaved food and ramen. today, in my manic morning energy, I went and purchased steak and asparagus to cook tonight. that's really funny, because now I find myself too lazy to walk over to the other side of the room to grab my soda on the table, because it’s way over there and, you know…i’m over here.
how could I be the same person, yet so different in the course of a day? In reality, outside of my mind, nothing at all has changed. I used to be skeptical about the whole ADHD thing, until I started reading first hand accounts of what it’s like to have it as an adult, which resonated with me 99% of the time.
I can’t even write anymore, i’m brain dead. just one more thing: if you have a missed call from me that's timestamped between 8 am and 12:30 pm, just call me back tomorrow morning.
I can’t think of a cleverly persuasive blurb for it, i’m doin too much: https://ko-fi.com/evr0ck17
