Note: I created a “free write” document on googledocs, i just type into it without any consideration for any end product, this is what came out last night. Day 37 sober in treatment
My attitude sucks I hate it and it’s trying to fuck me over, I can not let it. At least I can see what’s going on here before the poisonous thoughts turn into self defeating actions. I’m just perpetually irritated with everyone around me, like I’m the only one who isn’t self obsessed, immature and maladjusted. I am so pissed at myself for feeling this way, even when I know that it’s par for the course, for the position I’m in. All the time I spend trying to watch the way I feel without participating in it.
Wait, that’s actually working…ok. It’s working. I didn’t act. I didn’t run.
