Protection/Perception

All right this is probably going to be the last post that I dictate through speech to text so let’s fucking rock it.

My wonderful friend whom I call race car informed me that she had an extra laptop that she did not need from her job in some kind of IT department in New Jersey, and that she would be giving it to me to replace the one that I recently lost to a motherboard failure. I do not have to gravel for money on the internet with a GoFundMe to get back the instruments I need for myself expression. That is very good now I just need to figure out what the people who donated want me to do, obviously I will refund them.

I’m going to write this here to look at the next time things are going badly and I forget: the universe protects me, always has and it’s logically safe to assume that it always will. The next time you buy a Powerball ticket use my birthday, and buy me a Nintendo switch when you win so I can finally play that fucking Zelda game.

I slept a good 12 hours last night woke up feeling all right and I’m st feeling good. I was thinking about our perceptions of reality, and how I have a mood disorder that literally Alters my perceptions of reality sometimes on a dime. Does that make sense? Your mood really informs the way you’re looking at things, I can’t nail down a solid state of consciousness, never mind the Cavalcade of psychoactive chemicals I am prescribed to and unprescribed to and prescribed. To be you could probably factor in a whole lifetime of psychedelic research that I’ve done on myself. Today, everything is Peaches and cream, and I even saw two corgis as I was sitting on a bench in Tompkins Square Park dictating this.

What if, we don’t actually have to master any sector of reality like we think but we only have to master our perception of it. Obviously that’s a whole lifetime of shit you have to learn, and not something you can just switch on especially if you have chemical imbalance. I haven’t the faintest grip on the Mastery of my perception despite the fact that I listen to Ram Dass and Alan Watts Lo-fi chillhop mixes to fall asleep a lot of nights. When things are going well it’s easy to pretend that you aren’t absolutely without any control over anything or your perception of it.

Okay now I’m going to go get one of those sandwiches I like, and go to my therapy appointment. Next time you hear from me on medium it will be behind a keyboard on a laptop thanks to Racecar Ferrone.