If you didn't read the beginning of my nearly week long mind fuck saga I'll link it here:
So after getting totally ignored for about a week following a whole day of the most deeply romantic, sexual and nostalgic shit anyone has ever said to me, I decided to just text jane something like:
“jane, you know this ghosting thing really hurts my feelings. I opened up and got really vulnerable with you, and you kept insisting I was safe to do so. I don't do that with anyone…and you just disappeared’
My punk rock mom Anna helped me compose an honest and thoughtful text , and I finally got a reply.
Jane said she was sorry that her flirting gave me romantic ideas, but she isn't into anything like that. I don't think that was flirting, that was very literally a mind fuck, she was granted intimacy with my mind. tit and dick pics are one thing, man, this was brain fucking. I replied that it was all I needed for closure, and I removed jane from my contacts, and digital circle. Poor kid has no idea what she’s doing with that energy, and i definitely do not want to be on the receiving end of that. I feel relief, despite being hurt.
I wish all I had was the 9th grade memory, and not the 2023 mind fuck…it kind of tarnishes someone I had on a pedestal.
all those compliments she gave me about being really smart, empathetic, loving, creative and handsome…they’re fucking true, man…I am that, that’s me. anyone who get’s access to that is fortunate, and should respect it.
I’m gonna get busy singing at the top of my lungs, and riding out my feelings like a wave. it’s all temporary.
“won’t you come and see me, queen jane”