My brain hasn’t been working lately, that’s why I haven’t written much of anything this past week.
I really don’t know what to do with myself most of the time. It’s weird because last week, I could really get into whatever I was doing for hours, whether it was video games, writing, or making music. But this week, I dunno, man, nothing really does anything for me. I’ve been getting into these negative thought loops, too, even though things are going pretty well. Stupid ADHD and bipolar disorder.
My brain better start working by Monday, though. It’s not like I’m going into molecular biology (I’m going back into cell phone retail), but I need better functionality for my first day of work.
I’m nervous. Literally nothing bad is going to happen, like every other thing that gives me anxiety…it’s all nothing. I don’t know why I know this, but still get nerves.
I’ve charted out the commute, which is fairly lengthy (about an hour). I’ve washed all of my khakis. I am prepared. I hope my brain will show up when it’s needed.
I’ve hyped this up too much. I think I just gotta show up, and it will work itself out. I wish Monday morning was right now; I just want to get into this shit.
I wonder if it will turn out to be a really good thing, the whole job situation. Like it will take up some of my time, and I will value my free time more when I’m not working. I literally forget what it’s like. Put a pin in this, I’ll see where I’m at with it in a few weeks.
