note: i use AI to edit my spelling and grammar, but it keeps changing my wording and therefore changing the voice i’ve cultivated, so this will just have to be a grammatical mess.
I’ve seen a lot of action, and I've been in dark, dark places. if you think I share very personal things in my writing, consider that there are things that have happened that I can’t face. it turns out these things stick with you, no matter where you go or what you do.
I'm trying to recover from some deep shit that many people couldn't imagine, that I can barely wrap my head around. some nights (like tonight) it keeps me up.
most of it is blacked out by my mind for my mental safety, but it comes back occasionally, I turn the proverbial pages of life, but they sometimes get stuck.
to be honest, a lot of the time I don’t think I can make it, and I'm waiting for everything to fall apart again. I am so afraid. i feel like an impostor because everyone i know thinks I'm doing so well, because they don’t frequent the halls and rooms of my mind. I couldn't stand to disappoint them, like so many times before.
I don’t know, I cant sleep and this platform has been the place where I put my thoughts out there for 2 years, I don’t intend to stop.
