I've been timid about it, but I wanted to write about my take on sexuality. it’s a facet of life that I never really get at in my writing, but I have a bit different take on the concept of sexual identity.
for me, sexuality is fluid. it’s not like a static thing that you have to nail down. I would not say i’m exactly heterosexual, but I wouldn’t say i’m gay either. i’ve had to come to terms with this over the past few years, and here I am coming to terms with it out in the open on my blog. I have attractions to different people at different times. I don’t want to hold it secret, as yet another reason to hate myself. there it is, out in the open. I think the correct term is pansexual.
we don’t have to define everything so rigidly, it’s 2024.
I think life presents us with a multitude of experiences, and it’s good for us to explore possibilities. some of the nicest people I've ever met, I've actually met on Grindr. they’re never pushy and they always respect my boundaries. Honestly, I wish the heterosexual dating apps were more like Grindr, where people are up front about their intentions instead of this whole “modern dating” act.
I still love women the most, and ultimately would like to find myself in a committed relationship with one, obviously I feel unlovable a lot of the time but I already wrote about low self esteem today.
I don’t want to be anyone else, I want to be myself as much of the time as I can. I want you to be yourself, so that you are happier. I've been aware of people becoming their true self publicly and the wonders it’s worked for them, and I want some of that lightness and freedom.
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