When I was homeless I’d run up in 7–11 and steal some really horribly strong malt liquor concoction. It was disgusting and id have to force it down to get the desired effect. While I would choke down 14% ABV Four Loko I’d sing songs to myself.
The thing I miss most when I lose everything is music, when I lose music I lose everything, so id sing to myself. I’d be sitting on a sidewalk singing either “Ruben And Cherise” by Jerry Garcia or “Muzzle” by Smashing Pumpkins…because the breeze would pause to listen in, and my life has been extraordinary, blessed and cursed and won.
I was attempting to comfort myself, and climb into something close to what those songs do for me emotionally. I don’t mourn all the things I’ve lost, all the times I've lost them like I mourn the loss of music.
I’m a pretty good singer but I know I butchered the tunes, because I was only doing it for myself.
My panhandling performative song is the bluegrass version of “swing low sweet chariot” and I nail that fucker to the wall. That’s probably why id walk with 50$ from rush hour at Penn station.
I will sing more. I like to sing a single stanza from a song every day on my Instagram story so: @0ther.evr0ck17
I sing on my soundcloud: Check out Ev R0ck on #SoundCloud
https://on.soundcloud.com/ijsRG
And thank God I have spotify, though I could use help paying for next month if you want to hit the tip button : https://open.spotify.com/user/1215032553?si=znX14MRfSbi4DBh-2gZdtQ&utm_source=copy-link
🙏
