There’s something happening. Up in Massachusetts a bunch of my oldest friends from high school are taking a party bus to see a Phish show, and they are even bringing my brother…meanwhile I’m up here in New York City and I haven’t seen Phish since 2019 at Fenway park. I used to get the FOMO every time all of my friends would go see Phish without me, but now I don’t really get all bent out of shape about it, I’m just happy that Phish is still Phish and my friends get to go see them, especially on their wedding weekend. I watched Phish on tiny desk concert today, and they are still classy and silly as can be, and having one of their biggest years, it makes me so happy to see them happy
I used to be obsessed with Phish, seriously spending all my time on a message board arguing over every little thing that the band would or wouldn’t do. A band like that is the good kind for an obsession, considering how many songs they have and how they allow the taping of their live shows, which are never the same twice. I spent a good 20 years nitpicking every thing Phish did, and then I just didn’t care anymore.
something happened to me in 2017 when they played 13 nights at Madison Square Garden and I was going to see them a bunch of times over the course of 2 weeks, It became routine to see Phish and I got used to taking the NJ transit from Asbury Park to Penn Station to see them at the garden.
One night I ended up in the front row, on the floor of Madison Square Garden. I don’t remember much of what they played, but it just seemed to me that I had reached the apex of the Phish experience that night. I’ve seen them 4 times since but it hasn't really done it for me, which is weird because the whole thing about Phish is to keep going to as many shows as you can because they’re never identical and you might hear that one song you’ve been chasing for years. I just wasn’t compelled to do that any more.
would I love to be up there with all of my dear friends? absolutely, that would be nice but i’d also probably be paralyzed by social anxiety and at a Phish show where finding drugs doesn’t exactly take a lot of looking. It isn't the best idea for me to be doing drugs and or alcohol, and so I don’t really go to Phish shows (even though i’ve seen more sober shows than high).
I’m actually about to get ready to walk to this hindu temple for their Sunday vegetarian feast, which I have never attended. I actually went to the temple looking for answers in my recent bout with depression, but no one was there, so I took a picture of the feast flyer, and made a note that i’d come back.
i’m looking for something, maybe a community, maybe a window into what it might look like to have some spiritual connection to something, we’ll see
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