Something has been wrong with me for nearly a week now. I don’t feel like myself, and I have no energy to do anything. I wake up, but I just lie around all day without really being asleep. It’s like I’m in that in-between state of wakefulness and sleep.
I don’t have the “big sad”; I just have the “big bleh.” It’s not the typical depressive episode where I feel hopeless; it’s more like I lack the energy to feel anything at all. I guess it’s better than the big sad, still i would like to feel human again.
You can tell I’m out of it when I don’t even scroll through Instagram or Reddit. It feels like a chore to respond to text messages, which is why I’m writing this. My counselor suggested I write about it. I’ve been in this half-awake, half-asleep state, and my phone keeps buzzing, but I don’t even bother to check what it is. Normally, I’m quite engaged with that thing.
I stopped taking Zyprexa on Friday, and maybe it’s still affecting my brain, causing this state I’m in. I’m still eating and sleeping, and I’m even prescribed stimulants and drink coffee all day, but they don’t seem to have any energy-boosting effect.
I think I’ll go to the doctor tomorrow. I did my laundry today, and that was more than enough activity for me.
