“do you realize that happiness makes you cry?” -Wayne Coyne, Flaming Lips
Well, he’s right. I am so overwhelmed. My heart is so full.
Last night, at Brooklyn Steel, I saw a band that I've been a fan of since 1996, and later learned that their singer and songwriter was in recovery when I read his book about. Soul Coughing is a unique 90’s band from the Lower East Side’s famous club the Knitting Factory, who broke up in 1999. Reading Mike Doughty’s book “The Book Of Drugs” around 2013, was probably the first time that I realized it was possible to be cool and sober, although obviously it took me over a decade of various degrees of success to be where I am with the idea today.
Of course, my sober NJ homie (heady Mike) who I met in AA got me a Ticket, as we had always joyfully sang the soul Coughing song “Casiotone Nation”, among other gems from the band’s 3 album catalog. When I was in treatment in 2020 or 2021 , in East Harlem, and I got the first stimulus check I made sure that a copy of Doughty’s book was sent to him from Amazon.
The show was amazing, it was fantastic to see all of the songs that I had memorized since I was 10 years old performed with such tight accuracy. The fact that I knew that Mike Doughty was what they’d call “one of us” gave it even more emotional depth. I really can hardly describe how powerful the experience was for me.
Even though I was out in Brooklyn late last night, I made my Sunday trip to the hindu temple at the end of 128th street. Sure, I've been going at night too because it’s durga puja, but I just dig the vibe in there.
when I got home I felt compelled to send the temple a message thanking them for being so cool, so I did. I have yet to hear back, but it’s only been 20 minutes.
Hello, my name is Evan and I live on 127th street. I have been coming to the temple on Sundays for maybe 2 months, and I have come to Durga Puja most of the nights so far. However, I felt compelled to express gratitude and appreciation for the mandir, as I feel everyone deserves recognition for their efforts. Attending the temple has become the highlight of my week, and just being there has done so much for me and the way that I feel. Back in August, I was in a very difficult place spiritually and mentally, and I noticed that the door was open. In the past, I had listened to lectures by a man named Ram Dass, who was a Harvard psychologist who went to India to be with Nemm Karoli Baba, and my favorite musician is a devotee of Mātā Amritānandamayī Devi, so I had some limited knowledge and curiosity. I entered the mandir, and the music was the first thing I noticed because music is universal, no matter if you understand Hindi or not (I don’t).
There is so much joy, laughter, and rhythm in that room that I made a point to come back every week. I just want to express my gratitude for never being made to feel that I didn’t belong there, despite my obvious differences. I would also like to inquire if there is any way that I can be helpful. If so, please let me know. Thank you so much.
The favorite musician, and devotee of Amma that I was referring to is none other than my guitar hero J. Mascis, who the Good Human Nate (from previous blog posts) got me two tickets to see on November 22. I am giving one of them to Heady Mike.
Everything is connected… everything.
I’m so serious. The ways that my life are opening up since August 9th, when I surrendered to the fact that I had no power of my own to stay sober and manage my own life without assistance are so plentiful that I struggle to even write about all of them. It’s heavy.
