The Gambler

Ev R0ck
2 min readApr 9, 2024

Yeah, I guess i’m a big gambler, now.

It all started when I did that thing where you invite people to chime, so that you each get 200$, because i’m always trying to get money and my 26 dollar phone bill is almost due. There are a lot of hoops to jump through to get the 100 dollars so I don't think anyone is going to do it, but at least i tried. My brother said he’s going to do it, but he also had another suggestion: refer me to draft kings so I can get a bunch of free sports bets. oh boy, it paid off.

I don’t know the first thing about sports, and therefore which sports to bet on, but it is apparently college basketball betting time. It was all on the line, baby, I used what was pretty much my last 5 dollars to qualify for all of the bonus bets, and placed every bet where my brother told me to place them.

Did I watch the game with a whole new level of excitement and enjoyment? fuck no, I don’t even know who played. I went to sleep by nine (as per usual), and hoped i’d wake up to some good news from the gambling app.


I woke up to the news that I had won 66 dollars! that is a massive multiplication of my net worth. so, I set aside 26 for the phone bill…now I don’t have to worry about that. I also picked up some smokes, a large tub of vanilla ice cream, a nice turkey sandwich and a large bottle of cherry cola. I even have a few bucks left to resupply my morning oatmeal after I finish the last 2 packs I have tomorrow.

see that? the universe always provides, just when i’m about to fall flat. big up to my brother, the sports expert.

Only one bad thing happened today, though and i’m rather sad about it: my French press coffee maker fell on the counter-top and broke, that’s really going to fuck up my morning until I get it together enough to get another one: