The way I feel is a problem and feeling this way leads me to want to feel another way. I start looking in bottles, bags, powders and pipes for a different way to feel. From the bottles, bags, powders and pipes I lose control of how I behave, and there are problems. What I am trying to do here: take these problems into account before I go looking for another way to feel. Sure it would be great to feel a way besides the way i feel, but the ways i would do that are finite, and then i come to with more problems than when i started, less money than when i started, and feeling worse than i did to begin with. I am typing this out to distract myself from the feeling of being me, in my skin and thinking my thoughts. I am trying to see the end of the feeling modification, before i see the pleasurable middle. Since I wrote this paragraph it is far more unlikely that I’ll go looking to change my emotional state, and that was the point.
coffee, not Guinness
