I feel very uncomfortable and I don’t know what to do with myself. Maybe typing this will help.
When you regularly take amphetamines and abruptly stop, there is a period of depression. This is where I am right now. Nothing really helps, the things I normally like don’t do anything for me.
I was thinking about how much better I will feel in a few days, maybe a week. I’m looking forward to that. I just have to push through the discomfort. I can remember how much better I was before the Adderall, and the memory keeps me going. It’s only been 4 days, so I have a little ways to go.
The thing about drug addiction is having a low tolerance for feeling uncomfortable and medicating it as soon as possible. Instead of doing what I’d normally do, I’m feeling it and waiting for it to pass. At some point, I’m going to see color back in life again, and that will be an amazing moment, as it always is. This is not my first time with any of this.
My mind is telling me to run away and get high, but I’m telling people that my mind is telling me that. I’m writing it down. Today, I’m not going to do it. I can’t think about tomorrow.
